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Have you ever found yourself dwelling on the past, letting it hinder your progress and potential in life? If so, you're not alone – join Rachel and me as we share personal stories and insights on breaking free from this paralyzing mindset during divorce recovery. We'll discuss the importance of not dwelling on past mistakes, regrets, and guilt, which can lead to stagnation and missed opportunities for growth and happiness.
In our candid conversation, we explore the emotional obstacles that can prevent us from fully embracing the present and creating a better future. We'll discuss the transformative power of therapy, self-care, and resilience in helping us regain control of our lives and find joy and contentment. Plus, we'll share tips on overcoming unhealthy comparisons and the fear of the unknown that may hold us back from living our best lives.
Finally, we'll dive into the critical topic of self-love and self-care and how being a bit "self-ish" rather than "someone else-ish" can be the key to unlocking happiness and contentment. Discover the importance of putting on your own "oxygen mask" before helping others and uncover practical tips for thriving in the present moment, no matter what challenges life throws your way. Join us for this honest, authentic, and thought-provoking conversation that will surely resonate with anyone navigating the complexities of divorce recovery.
Discussions of:
Living in the past can be detrimental to our overall well-being and personal growth. Try your best not to let that be your wheel house.
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Welcome to the Divorce Devil podcast, a show Taylor made for those stepping out of the divorce recovery space. Follow your hosts, David and Rachel, as they dive into the all too familiar shitstorm of the more than interesting end of the road divorce topics, stories and discussions, While realizing it can be a trying stage. they have been where you are and understand the struggle And yes, the struggle is real. They know that recovery can be such a clusterfuck. Check out the podcast. if you feel like you're juggling chainsaws, then strap in and hold on for some honesty, authenticity and harden your face. irrefutable truths This innovative podcast is not for the faint hearted, so if you can't handle the certain truths, just keep it moving, If you can. welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Welcome everybody out there to Divorce Devil, episode 131. Today we're talking about the second prison of divorce recovery, which is what Ten reasons, no What. Living in the past, oh Yep.
Speaker 3:Ten reasons not to live in the past.
Speaker 2:Yep Ten reasons not to live in the past during your divorce recovery. So do you have the paper?
Speaker 3:Of course you don't, god What paper I said I'd tell you, but anyway, I know, but I'm going to print it out because I don't spread things out.
Speaker 2:So let's do. let's start with number one. Stagnation Dwell again in the past, prevents personal growth and keeps you stuck in a stagnant state. Okay, so here's where I'm at Enduring your progress and potential.
Speaker 3:Here's where I'm at with that. What do you say?
Speaker 2:What do you say?
Speaker 3:So stagnation I don't feel like a lot of times. You know that you're stuck right, so if you're in a situation that's not great for you, right And you live in your past and you've repeated this cycle and we always say repeating the same cycle over and over and not changing his insanity. I think we live in insanity right, we live in comfort, and if comfort is negative and until someone says, hey, you know what You're a negative fucking piece of shit. You may not know that because you've you've learned that from, maybe generationally.
Speaker 2:That's your new normal, That's. that's your old normal.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So you may not know that you're stagnant until you observe or you're willing to observe things around you. Like I say, when I moved here I didn't realize families actually got along. I didn't realize that in laws, don't you know, disrespect you 24 seven or thought it was normal. I thought that was normal, because I had a mother who was very belittling, very negative, until she wanted something that it was like Oh, my favorite daughter, you're so great And so I don't know the process. Yeah, i don't know that. we know we're in that, that state of existence. So today I went for a walk with a friend and she has had the same issue for the six years, seven years I've known her. She's been in the Amazon waves, that she's had the same cycle And I says, well, what can you do about it? Like she apologized to me for like bumping into me, like why are you sorry? Yeah, i know you didn't mean to hit me, but you don't have to say sorry. It's not something you actually did on purpose that you call.
Speaker 2:But it happens automatically, yeah, and.
Speaker 3:I think that's our generation too. We just like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I don't want to really like step on toes, but once you step on our toes we're going to let you know. Hey, you stepped on our toes, right? Um, i think sorry comes from that insecurity of making someone mad mostly our parents because we were seen, not heard, and so I've tried to consciously be like I'm not going to say sorry unless I've done something to cause you hurt or pain or something, because sorry's are just empty words until you prove it or show me. I'm tired of those empty words, i'm tired of you, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but you just want me to shut up if you're saying sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, right, um. So I think once we put some power in sorry, it actually can help us heal. So I I think stagnation is hard, because if you live in, if you're living in your past and you're not aware that your past is bad or your negative, it's hard to come out of that because you don't know, it's almost impossible to change. Yeah, you can't, you can't change.
Speaker 2:Especially overnight.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, and you know, like when I was walking by friend today, i'm like, all right, you're. You're no-transcript, homework, nothing on her therapist or anything but i'm her friend, i really care about her. Your thing is to do right down All the reasons that you're stuck where you're at excuses, the same that my dad has said my entire life and i use, but i didn't know the power of it until, like, my divorce. Um, solutions don't start with excuses. So unless you have a way to solve your problem, it's all just an excuse. So what's my excuse of why i'm? you know, i keep saying i want to write a book. What's my excuse? i didn't start. That's my excuse. Like, i have the time, i have, you know, support. I have friends who can help me write books. You know i have people that could help me. But what is it? i just didn't start. I just didn't start.
Speaker 2:Well, that's your homework now right?
Speaker 3:so sorry so again, if you have all these excuses and i was always negative is always whatever it gets tiring, it gets exhausting listening to it. So a lot of people will take their self out of your life because You're so negative. Are you always have an excuse of why your life is so bad? and a lot of times you are the problem, you are the reason, your life is the way it is so. I mean, i think i think again that one was a hard one for me, something I didn't. I don't know that i'm saying, or i didn't know that i hated my job so much, or i didn't know that that person annoys me because i only see them once a year, but when i'm with them i feel belittled and be rated and disrespected. But it's only for a short time, so i'm just gonna allow it, and then someday you're gonna be like you know what i'm not gonna allow, and then you become the asshole so you snap yeah, so what do you think was stagnation like?
Speaker 2:it is so hard to change. Yeah, it's so hard to put the genie back in the bottle once again, cuz it's got a.
Speaker 3:In a bottle.
Speaker 2:Baby got a big movie and you can't get it through that, that little neck, yeah, yeah so, and again, i think number two of this is missed opportunities.
Speaker 3:So you may miss opportunities because you're stuck and not know it. So So they pass right in front of your face like people place or things like right in front of your face and i think if you decide that you're gonna step out of that fear Of, you know, living in the past, or the fear of being alone, or the fear of not knowing what's gonna happen next because you get divorced, you can miss out on a great job, a new friendship, a new Partner. If you're in, you know, like if you're out of divorce and you may miss that yeah, and a lot of times we close ourselves off because we're stuck and we are so sad, we're so like lonely that we just don't want any more hurt. you might have missed out on the perfect person for you so i'm gonna say number two is missed opportunities yeah.
Speaker 2:And then it says what focusing on the past may cause you to miss out on present opportunities for happiness, success and fulfillment yeah so something be right in front of your face And you don't even see it well again to like that miss out this little.
Speaker 3:I mean this is a major thing. What are most people looking for in life to be happy? happy, yeah and today, when i was talking with my girlfriend, i was like You everybody wants to be happy, but you need things from others to make you feel fulfilled for filled right. So if your spouse isn't doing that for you, you're gonna talk to shit out of it. Go to therapy, have a girlfriend, go on a walk with you and be like I want to be happy. And in order for me to be happy, i need these things, and we are like also talked about languages like quality time. I need quality time to fill, be fulfilled in order to be happy.
Speaker 2:I also think it starts with you have to know That you have to be happy. Yeah, you have to know that you deserve to be happy, because some people don't think they deserve to be happy, but everybody deserves to be happy.
Speaker 3:And you know what. I honestly think a majority of our world doesn't even know what happy looks like, because they've been in a abusive relationship or a family member that's been a narcissist or you've always been the giver and you don't know what it's like to be given or just love Like. Do most people know what real love feels?
Speaker 2:like I wanna know what love is.
Speaker 3:Real love. I was going, like I was going, real love, i'm searching for real love, yeah.
Speaker 2:Man, we haven't sang in a while.
Speaker 3:I know We just did and we should probably stop.
Speaker 2:No, No. So number three regret and guilt. Man, that's deep.
Speaker 3:Yeah, living in the past often leads to feelings of regret and guilt preventing you from fully embracing the president and creating a better future. I feel like all three of these go long, because They're like cousins. Yeah, if you stick in stagnation, if you're stuck there, you can't do any of the other.
Speaker 2:It's almost like a never ending circle.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know you're stuck, you resent it and you miss opportunities.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you're stuck and you resent it. Bang, bang bang.
Speaker 3:And again, if you're living with any kind of mental issue, say you're depressed because of the divorce, you're depressed because it, because depression is a diagnosed thing. I've had periods of depression, but I'm not a I don't have depression, right. So I've had the worst sadness ever, but I've never had that where I want to hurt myself or hurt myself or others and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:So And then, once again, we do promote therapy. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 3:And again, there's multiple types of therapy. There's online therapy.
Speaker 2:now, like, you can literally stay in your home if you don't want to go out In your pajamas.
Speaker 3:In your PJs. In your PJs.
Speaker 2:Just sit there and get your get therapy.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's a little far, because that's different kind of therapy Jockstrap, home therapy.
Speaker 2:I mean Hold hold, hey, these nuts. I'm going to hold them tight and I'm going to get some therapy.
Speaker 3:I mean what you do in your own home, david, is none of my business.
Speaker 2:These nuts is those nuts.
Speaker 3:That would be a perfect name for a therapist.
Speaker 2:Those nuts.
Speaker 3:Or D's nuts These nuts And those nuts, those nuts.
Speaker 2:We affects these nuts and those nuts, those nuts, yeah. Bring your squirrels, yeah, but we, we, we do promote therapy in a group. Single double nuts. No nuts, all the nuts, hey, they're all All the nuts. Hey, tree nuts, bush nuts.
Speaker 3:I don't know how to snort. What the fuck is a bush nut?
Speaker 2:Attached to dudes. It's a nut off a bush.
Speaker 3:Tell me one example of a bush nut. I need to know And you can't say Lance.
Speaker 2:Well, pecans are tree nuts. I keep envisioning, like just running by the bush Tree nuts, but there are nuts that grow on bushes.
Speaker 3:I call bullshit.
Speaker 2:Oh, there are nuts. I will find them in the alaguma maybe There has got to be tree nuts. No, no, bush nuts There's got to be bush nuts.
Speaker 3:There's that, bush. No, we are going to cross a tree nut and a peanut in the ground.
Speaker 2:So so if you cross up a con with the peanut, you got a bush nut. God, just spit all on that thing. Oh my God, Oh my God, It's got to get a little wet.
Speaker 1:Where were we anyway?
Speaker 2:Okay, now we're headed to the limited perspective, so you're almost closed off to see anything. You can't see the forest with the trees.
Speaker 3:Well, and I also think that from guilt and regret you can get that, because if you, if you have missed out on all these life events because you've been stuck in all these things, you're going to be like pissed off. You're going to be like I wasted this much time in my life because I wasn't able to see that I was stuck or that I was being treated like shit or I was being disrespectful, disrespected So your perspective on life just might be negative. You mis-mock everybody.
Speaker 2:But to combat that, yeah. So even though let's let's say that you're in a bad relationship, and you're in a bad relationship for like six, seven years, you have to embrace the fact that someone showed you what you didn't want. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So you have to turn that around and say I learned from that. You know what I? the one thing I learned, too, is, like I don't know who said I think it was on one of our podcasts They says you have to trust people when they show you who you are, who they are, you can't pick them up.
Speaker 2:So they show you some bush nuts. They got bush nuts.
Speaker 3:I mean, you know, you know, there you go. I'm a bush nut. I don't know what it is, but so, yeah, you have to take people at their character. So if someone has always been abusive to you and then they start being nice, you gotta be like what's that It's coming.
Speaker 2:It's coming, whoa.
Speaker 3:What's her name?
Speaker 2:It's just the, it's just the, it's just the out of the hurricane.
Speaker 3:Yeah, So something has changed their perspective. So now you have to out perspective them, right, you have to be like, okay, so what is different? I didn't change, so they changed, so what's changed?
Speaker 2:So why did they change?
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, So you have to you, and again that can cause that other rabbit hole going I'm the problem, It's me, I'm the thing, And that's you're a victim of something.
Speaker 2:Of yourself.
Speaker 3:And then again you need to be. You are your own best advocate, right? I say that all the time with healthcare, our own worst critic. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:That can work both ways.
Speaker 3:So again, and then your self-esteem goes down the tube And then you're like then you're stuck there, Then you're stuck And it's my fault. I'm not pretty enough, i'm not smart enough, i don't make enough money, i wasn't a good mom. All these things that aren't true now become your truth because someone else has decided your truth.
Speaker 2:So number five is going to be loss of time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, i think that's a big one when you're like that's when you get to that pissed off, fuck you. I've wasted this much time on dealing with your bullshit and every time I tried to bring my stuff You choking over. There I am, i'm bush nuts, Yeah there's nuts. That that lost time is I You almost have to be like from this moment forward.
Speaker 2:This is a new day.
Speaker 3:This is a new day and all the stuff in the past. Yes, i want to heal from it, but it's gonna be baby steps. You're gonna have to take that time that you lost plus double it, because if you've been in a bad relationship for 15 years, it's gonna take 30 before you have, you know, half of those things dealt with, because they're ingrained in your brain, they're ingrained in who you are, You know. So you, if you haven't just started healing for 10 of those years after your divorce, you got five. You got you know five years in. I've been healing for five, but I still got you know 10 years of trying to figure out what was wrong.
Speaker 2:Well, that kind of rolls into unhealthy comparison. Oh yeah because you know we compare what, what, what is or what could have been. But you can't live in the what, what could have been, world Yeah, that's another rabbit hole.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think, just as humans, we compare ourselves in every aspect of our life. You know, did I have a good parents? We did I live in a nice house, that I have a nice car? as a kid, was I in sports, was I in theater? was, you know, was I smart enough to go to college?
Speaker 2:Is this my wife? This my car? Yeah, how did I get here?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you Wonder actually, one day you just wake up and go Is this my life? Yeah, like what, i don't want this I don't. I decide I don't like that, the way this is going.
Speaker 2:So what do you do? Change it change it, change it and again that takes a lot.
Speaker 3:There is a fear of the unknown. There's that fear of you know, i just lost all this time Putting all my effort into somebody or something, a job, a person, a friendship, all this stuff, and you're like a bushnut. Bush, not damn bush. Nuts always getting in our way.
Speaker 2:I know those, those things are prickly too.
Speaker 3:So I think, i'm sure as men too, but as a woman, with all the things in our world that say you have to look like this and be this tall and be this thin and, you know, be this smart and do this and drive this car and drive and have this purse, we compare ourselves in every aspect. Oh, my skin's too oily like this. We, every single day, we have to make a conscious effort to go. I am who I am. This is what you get. If you don't like it, there's the door.
Speaker 2:So the comparison factor leads to bigger ad spin? Yes, because that's what commercials are. Yeah, you know, compared to the Well, beauty is a billion dollar industry.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, By this makeup.
Speaker 2:I'm a billion. I'm a billion, but yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but again, i don't know as a man, do you everyday think well, joe has that car I need that car.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:I'm not successful. I didn't marry the guy that has six figures.
Speaker 2:Maybe when I was younger Yeah, I'm not an old man and had a couple of major life events. Hell, no man, It's like man. I don't care about that shit.
Speaker 3:Again, and it takes rock bottom to get to that. I think we get to the point where it's like all the things we've just mentioned, we're like I want to be the opposite of stagnant, i want to be the opposite of being mad that are regretful and you know, guilt, all this stuff. I want to be the opposite.
Speaker 2:Can you remember? the Joneses can kill you, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:The Joneses are dicks. I don't care. I don't want to be like no Joneses.
Speaker 2:The Joneses aren't paying your bills, yeah.
Speaker 3:I want to be like the webs.
Speaker 2:I want to be the tree nuts.
Speaker 3:You want to be a bush nut. Bush nut, yeah, bush nut, they're unique because no one knows what they actually are, because they're right in the middle. If anybody has an example of a bush nut, it's kind of like a pecan nut. It's a hybrid of I don't know.
Speaker 2:Peanut con.
Speaker 3:I'm allergic to peanuts. We don't want that.
Speaker 2:Which ones? Peanuts? Peanuts, so ground nuts.
Speaker 3:I'm allergic to tree nuts.
Speaker 2:So isn't a pine nut, a tree nut or a bush nut? I don't know.
Speaker 3:Apparently, i'm allergic to legumes and almonds and walnuts.
Speaker 2:Is it a pine tree or a pine bush? Pine tree, okay. Pine tree, okay. Thank you.
Speaker 3:Don't you have Christmas, dude?
Speaker 2:I don't get a day.
Speaker 3:I mean Christmas, yeah, all right, where are?
Speaker 2:we. Then there's wreath nuts. I'm healthy compares Jesus.
Speaker 3:Christ, all these nuts are feeling like they're compared to the legume.
Speaker 2:So we're at lack number seven lack of resilience, you know, not able to rebound. Yeah, what does it say? By living in the past, you miss out on developing a resilience and the ability to adapt to new circumstance.
Speaker 3:The only way to combat that is to break the cycle Right. The way that you lack of resilience is. I feel like every single fucking thing that I have been through in my life has made me who I am The mom who was an alcoholic, to know the signs of alcoholism and to not do that. Knowing how I will treat my kids and hope I treat my children in all ages of my life, wanting to provide for them, wanting to not belittle people, not putting my things off on others because, like my mom was big, like well you made me drink. I didn't make you drink a whole bottle of whiskey.
Speaker 2:I didn't put it to your lips, baby.
Speaker 3:Yeah, i didn't pour it. So I think when you get stuck in all those things, when you've gone through all those other phases, you have to have some resilience, you have to learn to go. I'm going to step outside. Stop with the excuses, find some solutions to what's going on and take yourself out of it. If it has to be that, if you don't talk to someone for a couple of months, guess what? They also didn't talk to you, because that fucking phone works both ways. So if you've always put in the time and effort and then you stop and they don't try to contact you, that's not on you, and that's a hard pill to swallow, because you want to be connected. We all want to be connected to something Family, friends, coworkers, whatever Bushnets Nature Bushnets I mean the bushnuts I'm thinking about are attached to a six foot four guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anyway. so let's talk about so a a um offsuit of that would be discussing um. God, i had it, i just lost it.
Speaker 3:God wants it. I hate when you get old God, i love it. What are you talking about? old man?
Speaker 2:Um, eureka moments. Okay, so let's say, i think Eureka moments are additive. You're like, oh, i got it.
Speaker 3:You literally get smacked in the head going.
Speaker 2:Oh, i felt that. But I think there's small individual you become moments that that happened with you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's like you know the proverbial light bulb moment, like, hey, i understand why you were like that to me, mom. I understand why you were like that to me, friend. I understand, like all the people in your life, that you've had an experience that wasn't what you wanted it to be or come out how you wanted to be. Those are your moments where you go Hmm, look at me standing up for myself, look at me figuring out my problems. Like one of my things is my mom and I. Right before she passed away, we were starting to get a relationship where I could call her and she can call me, and no one hung up the phone, angry.
Speaker 2:Wow, that was a, that was a start.
Speaker 3:And then she went and died, Yeah, And I was like I either have to forgive her or sit in the stagnation. Of my mom didn't like me, but since she's been gone and talking to families that know my mom in her past and I was up I understand where she came from.
Speaker 2:Cause you don't want to have number eight. I resolve issues I didn't agree with. yeah.
Speaker 3:I don't agree with how she's tried to resolve them or what she did, like how she, but I don't think she had the. I don't think she had the tools.
Speaker 2:I think not giving a fuck helps with uh unresolved issues.
Speaker 3:The problem is she didn't give a fuck that I was sad or that I needed my mom and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:That's okay, That's. that's. that's her problem, Not yours.
Speaker 3:And again I now know that she did the best she could in the situations and the education and the people in her life. No-transcript supporting her or bringing her up Like my dad was probably the first person that saw my mom for who she was and was like you're an artist, you can do this. Look at how well you sew. You could sing, you can do this. My mom didn't have that growing up. She was always the middle of the road out of 13 and just be seen, not heard.
Speaker 2:And that leads to number 10, number nine straight relationships Yeah, We got, we got list.
Speaker 3:Bam Okay, we got, we got lists.
Speaker 2:So living in the past can strain relationships, as it may cause you to hold on grudges, maintain unrealistic expectations.
Speaker 3:David, look at you.
Speaker 2:Or fail to appreciate the present dynamics and growth in your relationships.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:So that's so all I heard. There was like get rid of some people. That's all I heard.
Speaker 3:And I and I think I think the word grudge is a negative connotation, but I really think that putting boundaries on people and not saying grudge, putting boundaries on people and saying you're going to respect me or we're not going to have a relationship, is the most healthy thing I've ever done. Saying I know no, no, no, no. That's not going to work for me today, but thanks for asking my David phrase and the piece that comes from setting boundaries And, if you want to call them grounds, grudges, is astronomical. It's literally like Oh and again. With my ADHD, i have objects permanence. Once you're out of my face, i don't remember that you exist. So it's really great Cause I'm just like Oh yeah, i do have a sister.
Speaker 2:And let's not forget the word no. I love the word no. The no, yeah, no, no without it, but it's, but it's, but it's a no without explanation. Yeah, you got to do the double.
Speaker 3:You know what, though, i have to say? you're probably going to disagree with me.
Speaker 2:But No, don't say it. No, no, no.
Speaker 3:I love the word no, except if someone says it to me. I found that out like.
Speaker 2:so That's like saying I like spanking people, but I don't like to be spanked.
Speaker 3:Oh no, i like spanked, i like spanked hard.
Speaker 2:Anyway, let's move on to the show. Let's move on to the show. No, no, i have to explain myself. That was a metaphor. Oh my God, i have to explain myself.
Speaker 3:So we have this thing at home, like someone will say now and I go, you ain't the boss of me. And they said no, and I respect their no, but you ain't the boss of me, so why?
Speaker 2:can't you just respect the no? Hey, if you can get it, you're a playful no, you got to respect it.
Speaker 3:But a playful no is different than your fucking asshole.
Speaker 2:No, but you're not. Yeah, but you're still not respecting their. No, I can't have a fucking hypocrite.
Speaker 3:No, we all can't be perfect, even like. Seriously, i love to say no.
Speaker 2:You need to work on that. You're you're no acceptance.
Speaker 3:Don't say no to me, i'm so cute No. David, you're not the boss of me.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:I don't care, you're not the boss of me.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:I'm not the boss of me. You need to work on that. I am the boss of me.
Speaker 2:You need to work on that, that is that is. that is so.
Speaker 3:Like, if I say, baby, can we go get ice cream, he goes no, how'd I go? But please, please convey, i'm the boss of me, i'm the boss of me. No, i'm like, you're not the boss of me. I don't get my own ice cream, take the no. I'm going to get my own ice cream, take the no. You ate the boss of me. Take the no. So it works one way for me.
Speaker 2:So number 10, boss, number 10.
Speaker 3:Woo robbing present joy. When you're fixed on the past, you deny yourself the opportunity to fully, to fully experience and enjoy the present moment, missing out on the beauty and joy it has to offer.
Speaker 2:There you go. You got to have joy.
Speaker 3:Again we all. Happiness, Want joy. What do we need to do? We all want happiness. What do we need to do? There's a difference between want and need right.
Speaker 2:Oh, i saw, okay, i saw to get joy, get rid of your friends, get rid of issues.
Speaker 3:Don't let people tell you no.
Speaker 2:Don't let people tell you no, don't worry about the past. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Don't get stuck.
Speaker 2:Don't worry about the time. You know time wasted can't worry about that. Linen perspective, you know. don't worry about the people Regret and guilt.
Speaker 3:screw that, don't have to do the opposite of all this.
Speaker 2:Don't have to do the opposite of regret and guilt. And then number two don't worry about the opportunities, because they're going to be there, because you're going to pay attention.
Speaker 3:Because now you're going to be away and be like look at that, look at that look at that Opportunity, opportunity.
Speaker 2:Look at them boobs, yeah, woo. And then stagnation. You're going to be fluid, you're going to be a weed, a reed in the wind.
Speaker 3:You're not going to be stinky, stale water. You're going to be flowing on the river.
Speaker 2:You know when, the, when, the, when the wind blows by the wheat, the wheat just going to go oh, you are wheat.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what if you have a good analogy?
Speaker 2:It's kind of like. Kind of like when it's a wheat crossed with a little bit of a Push nut. No, not push nut. Kino, Rees and matrix.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, if you don't watch YouTube, people, david is doing a whole matrix dance over here. That is stagnation, that is slow making, that is anti stagnation.
Speaker 2:So so, babes, kiddos, babes, whoever you're out there, you need to grab that. Yeah, grab that and run with it.
Speaker 3:And again, we all want happiness. What is it that?
Speaker 2:we need to do Love and happiness And we'll.
Speaker 3:Love is happiness. If you have happiness, you love in life, right You loving all the things in this life And we get what All these 10 things deal with self care. Oh yeah, we're all about self care. Yeah, get yourself a massage, woo. Yeah, yeah, i heard some chocolate covered strawberries at the Rockies game and show her how much you love.
Speaker 2:No, buy your own damn strawberries.
Speaker 3:But I bought him a beer, so it's equal.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:You're not the boss of me.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, i love that Man you're like er.
Speaker 3:No, don't talk to me now. I bought my own damn strawberries, but the jester is nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, jester no.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna get jester.
Speaker 2:All right, all right, you're not the boss of me. No, no, jester, we're gonna fight. All you're getting is bush nuts. That's all you're getting. You ain't getting nothing else. I can't not wait. You ain't getting nothing else but bush nuts. I've already been in that bush nuts, bush nuts.
Speaker 3:It's on top of a huge tree. Oh my God, and I'm a squirrel looking for the nut.
Speaker 2:Remember. While it's important to learn from the past, it's equally vital to embrace the present and work towards building a fulfilling future. By letting go of the past, you open yourself up to new possibilities, personal growth and a greater sense of well-being.
Speaker 3:Get yourself straight, get yourself happy, find your peace, find your love, find your joy. And it's hip steps, it's big steps.
Speaker 2:So not only is this self-love, self-care, this is also being a little bit selfish. Yeah, and I You gotta be selfish in order to do these.
Speaker 3:Well, you can't be ushish, You can't be someone else-ish, you have to self-ish.
Speaker 2:Selfish.
Speaker 3:You have to worry about yourself, but not selfish to the point where you're an ass. Nuts. Yeah, we don't want narcissists.
Speaker 2:But you need to be selfish. Take care of yourself first, just like the plane and the oxygen mask.
Speaker 3:Yeah, burr, the same thing. Yeah, burr, get yourself.
Speaker 2:All right everybody. Well, i hope you guys enjoyed the top 10 things And all of.
Speaker 3:David's research and happiness and getting yourself together, Of course recovery, yukes and a little bit of past. So if you guys have a good day, Wait, do we find out if this is my 100th episode? No, what the hell. You did all that work and you ain't figuring it out.
Speaker 2:Oh, you got two places to watch that video. That's OK, all right, everybody, thanks for listening. Have a good night, bye-bye, bye, bye.
